Hello All. Hope everyone had a good weekend!
Ahhhh yes. The super bowl. A true underdog victory. New York is the shit.
This weekend was ok. Saturday was the big day. I was getting more worried by the minute until it was time to take the pills. I guess expecting the worst of what it could be was what was so troubling to me. It actually in my opinion, was not the worst it could be in the slightest. There were times of intense pain, but in those cases I took the painkillers. I was in bed by 9:30pm. The next day I was ok. Bleeding less, no pain. It went pretty smooth. I’m taking antibiotics to prevent any infection, and just trying to take it easy. For the first time in a few weeks I actually feel normal.
My follow up is in three weeks, and hopefully I will get good news. In some cases, doing it this way has not worked for a few patients. And I’m thinking “Well, with all the pain u go through, I hope it worked.” So I guess we will see. I honestly think that it did. I feel totally different on the inside and out. Just really at ease, trying not to stress.
I know I said that I was going to tell my mom. But I don’t think I will. It’s not that I don’t want to. If I could trust that she could keep it to herself than she would have known about it already. That’s really the issue I’m having. If I tell her then the whole world will know. She’s just that type of person. And I don’t want her to tell my nana. Cuz, well she’s in love with Jesus and she won’t be pleased knowing I got rid of a life. She just started warming up to Brian too. They both seem to be talking alittle bit. So I don’t want that to be ruined. I don’t want anyone thinking that this wasn’t my decision. I mean, it was in my body. And although Brian has some say, in the end it’s mostly up to me. And we both knew it wouldn’t work right now. Do I think I’m just going to leave it like this. I know my sister and friends won’t tell. It’s my business, my choice. So I guess that’s that.
Time seems to be going quickly today. Kind of excited about that.
Monday, February 4, 2008
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