Your words don't stick. I ain't perfect, but you aint either.

OOOOHHHHHH geez. Why do i get into these things why?

So last week we went to happy hour. Mind you, i have not been out of the house for about a month or so because of bills and such so this was our "Woohoo" night out for the week. So i go and what do i drink? vodka. And vodka ALWAYS gets me in trouble, which is why i usually stay away from it. But by this time the cable and internet was shut off and i was just hvaing the shittiest week ever so i was in more of those "fuck it" moods. so whatever we go and we know the bartenders well so Vuke (bartnder) kept making me this pink leomade shit that was so tasty but 90 percent vodka. There was this really hot looking lady. Blonde hair, nice body clothes and makeup. it was on. So i tell Brian "im gunna get that girl and take her home you just watch." and yeah apparently i succeeded. Bottom line is this: i dont know her name, and i only remember two seconds of it which i will not describe. Now i know that when i get drunk im an instant lesbo, which is totally fine. But im embarrassed because i dont really know if i was good at whatever it was that we did. was i mean to her? what did i say and do? i dont regret it, i just wish i were more responsible. thats all.

And im super pissed because i cant find my bra. It was my fave. Damnit.

When i had told my friend thomas a few days ago he was like "WELL, happy birthday to YOU"

I mean u gotta laugh at it. It's so typical of me to get into a situation like that. I don't even know the girls name. Thats pretty funny.

i'm such a whore. and i love it :p

I'm like the ring leader, I call the shots.

OK so i have today off and it is sweet and all......but im really bored. by 1:30pm i have already cleaned and did the laundry. The place looks great but i am bored out of my skull.

i tried watching "Mad Money" but that blew.

"confessions of a teen idol" is the LAMEST excuse for a show i have ever seen. I am officially disgusted with TV today.

Can you over clean your jewelry?? because i think i've cleaned my ring a bagillion times today alone. i'm having OCD issues with it and i never think it's clean enough.

I love Britney. Shattered glass and Unusual you are my favs.

I'm going to the gym later today and i am sooooo ready to get back to it. Thats just how boring my life is. To have to exersize to fill up my boredom is sad. Healthy but sad.

My yearly umcomfortable vag appointment is this week. I look forward to this every year. Who doesn't love spreading it on a cold examintaion table while getting proded with multiple instruments? i especially love the free breast exam. If anyone ever tells you they hate getting their boobs massaged they are lying through their teeth man. Fo real.

I'm turn 25 soon. Very soon. Im ok with it, but not ok with it. Does that make any sense?

ok im done, no more bloggin about my boredom today. Lata Betch.

When I come back, you'll be the brightest star in the black.

I gotta tell you, this economy has caused me such anxiety. it's craziness.

I just would like to know when the will be giving a bailout to all middle class, hard working people. Becauseeeee yeah...we really need it too.

I'm bitching because i am now getting garnished at my job for a loan i couldnt afford to pay. Yeah man! i can't fucking afford to pay it so i just stopped. I need to eat, i need a roof over my head. And im sorry but thats the most important thing. I'm number one, baby. So go suck it. I think im most annoyed at the time i received the message. They notified my job on the 8th and they let me know the week of my payday on the 12th. WTF? it would have been nice if i had gotten the message earlier. a frikken warning would have been nice since im paying rent that week. Neither of us can get an advance if we really needed it because SHOCKER...noone has money to lend.

Yes, i know that it is my fault. i was neglectful. i didnt even call to say that things were tight. i just ran from it. So i am more mad at myself at this point. it could have been handled better. But im just irritated at the fact that there is no help these days. As comforting as it is to know that im not the only one in this boat, i need to make it to shore. i know that the big businesses need to thrive but....doesn't it start with us too?

I'm getting more anxious about my settlement. They are in talks now and we will probably find out how much i will get in the next couple of weeks. i just want to get rid of my debt asap. I know that once that is taken care of i will be truly happy. i will have afresh start. plus Brian will marry me. lol yeah i know he proposed but he told me he wont marry me until i get rid of it. And its really just something i have to do. i need to build my credit and think about the future. we both want a house and kids and that can't really happen if i have shitty credit. So thats priority number one. And then a nice car with low mileage. If those are the only things i can afford thats fine.

My pipedream of an awesome wedding is through. i have been looking around at packages and such but it's just ridiculous. Like, i know that weddings are a big moment in ones life. But i would rather buy a bunch of necessary shiz with 10,000 bucks than have a really fancy 5 hour party.

I've got a crafty bunch of fam and friends who can help with decorations. I found this nice lady about my age at work who makes party favors and offered to make mine if i needed someone. i know a photographer. Brian knows a deacon. It's just gunna be much cheaper if i just get everyone to help. And i honestly think that it would mean much more too.

So yeah, theres alot to look forward to. Alot of stuff on my list that I need to check off. I'm so impatient....i want it all right now! lol

One step at a time

Forever young, I want to be forever young.

Holy moley its been a bit eh? i just read my last blog and was like "wow that was so long ago...wow i write pretty well." lol time goes by so quickly these days.

Work is good. i've finally settled into it and no longer tolerate bs from clients. i'm pretty surprised that i got through it. It was culture shock for me i suppose, but now i'm good. I also should realize that at the beginning the company was just starting ro grow again. We just got this new computer system that doesnt really have the kinks worked out so there was alot of frustration with the clients and ourselves. But its been a work in progress and honestly its gotten much better. Of course we will continue to bitch so long as glitches exist, but its gotten alot easier. I actually enjoy it...a little :p

Brian proposed to me on christmas, so it's official. I know finally right? I'm really happy. I can't wait to be a wife. I'm just really content, really excited. And im gunna hang on to that high for a little while.

As for life after work? i havent really done much of anything. I cook, clean, watch tv, sleep. My only "Hoorah" is going to happy hour and getting drunk on a friday if we have the cash. I dont mind it though at all. i like relaxing in my home yanno? with the way the economy is today i cant afford to do shit. I work to survive and i just make it by. it sucks but everything gets better with time. it always does. life can't be just one smooth ride right?

Ok well im sleepy....yes i know its almost 9. i'm an old fart. love it. im off to the couch. lataaaa