Suck it, bitch

Holy crap....last update was october of last year??!! thats insane. i apologize.

What do you do when you know something your not suppose to? Theres nothing that i can do, and it bothers the fuck out of me. i wish i never knew.

i think what bothers me the most is that it just makes me realize something that i've always known. NOONE is ever good. Humans are not good people. We are selfish and always out for number one. We want what we want and we want it now, and it doesnt matter how we get it... we will always get what we want. i dont care if anyone wants to argue against it. you wont win with me. years of observance has proven this to me.

You think you know someone. You think things are perfect. and then BAM.....things happen where it makes you wonder if u ever really knew the person at all.

you know what else gets me? they all still claim to love you. "but baby i love u" OK
but does it make your selfish act right? no....not at all. and im not saying its just guys....its women too. like i stated previously....its the human race itself. i am no different.

i've been selfish many times. i STILL am. i will never guarantee that i wont be selfish or do fucked up things. im sure im doing something thats considered wrong right at this moment.

But it just blows my mind. everyday i find out something new. and yet i still get the feeling of dissappointment. WHY? after it is learned....i end up realizing that it wasn't such a surprise. Maybe....for once i just want to believe in decency.

its awful that i feel this way. its a shame, bc ill probably spend the rest of my life wondering if the goodness that i have is really good. ill second guess, be suspicious. and its unecessary.

You sicken me. i'm sure that deep down i knew this....but i really didnt want to. and its really hard for me not to wanna beat the fuck out of you and that other person. You have it all, you fucking asshole. and i really hope that one day karma fucks up everything for u. You fucking deserve it.